Review: Hotel Santa Maria Rome Trastevere
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As has been discussed, when we travel, we tend to stick to chain hotels. They bring fewer surprises and the benefit of loyalty programs and status, things that matter to me more and more as I age. At 40, I’m not crazy about rolling the dice on a bargain hotel in a foreign country. Ending up in a youth hostel where the light burned out and my roommate had an all-night fart attack, or one where they took my passport, all rooms were filled with flies, and there were no locks of any kind, or one where the bathroom flooded, etc. etc. etc. - those things used to make for fun stories, but now I have enough stories and just want a place where I know the shower will work.
But chain hotels aren’t always an option, especially when you have a specific location in mind. Case in point: Rome, Italy. We’d been to Rome once before, staying in Monti, and this time we wanted to stay in Trastevere, a neighborhood west of the river known for having a lot of cool restaurants. Rome has a ton of chain hotels, particularly Hilton and Choice, two chains where we collect points, but none in Trastevere, which I sort of had my heart set on.
There are, of course, a lot of non-chain hotels in Rome as well, and that’s the problem: there’s too many. At least when you limit yourself to chains, you’re researching a max of a couple dozen hotels. When you open it up to all hotels, the dots on Google Maps look like my skin after a run-in with your relative that would make this sentence most upsetting.
I tried researching hotels, but it was hard. The cheap hotels had terrible reviews. The good hotels were way too expensive. Even some of the expensive hotels had bad reviews. It seemed there was no way we’d be able to find something in our price range in Trastevere or across the river from it. But then I randomly clicked on a hotel that was in the neighborhood we wanted, at a price we could afford, and had immaculate online reviews. I pounced.
Hotel Santa Maria in Trastevere
Unfortunately, our trip to Rome came right after the death of the pope, when all the robed gentleman gathered for their big No Girls Allowed party. As such, the train station was a wee bit crowded when we arrived in Rome. (Also crowded: everything in Rome all the time.) We found ourselves a cab using FreeNow, which took us to the edge of Trastevere. The driver explained that because many of the neighborhood’s streets are quite narrow, he couldn’t take us all the way.
After a brief roll of our suitcases, we came upon the gate to Hotel Santa Maria. You wouldn’t even know the hotel was there if there wasn’t a sign. It blends in completely with the other buildings in this cool neighborhood, with nothing more than a gate adorned with greenery. We pressed the button and were buzzed in. We made our way up the drive to the front desk, which is open 24 hours per day. That’s great if you want something, and a necessity because this is a hotel where you don’t take your key out. Instead, you leave it at the front desk and press the buzzer when you want to be let in. That may be strange to Americans, but it’s nice not having to worry about keeping a key in your pocket.
The staff was friendly from beginning to end. Every time we went to the front desk, we got smiles and helpful advice. They asked if we wanted to do anything special, and I gave them a confusing answer about how they’d sent us an email of activities including a shuttle bus to an outlet mall that had a Karl Lagerfeld store but I couldn’t find the email so I can’t remember please help, and even though they had no idea what I was talking about, the guy spent time looking up which outlet mall and which shuttle bus and gave us the information (it was too expensive we didn’t go). They also offered to recommend restaurants if we needed it, although we had all our dinners planned out ahead of time because I like food.
All the guest rooms open to the outdoors here - does that make this a motel? I don’t know. But the hotel is very big, even though there aren’t a lot of rooms. It’s built around a huge courtyard - well, two courtyards, actually - filled with gravel and tons of seating. It is a gorgeous space, a quiet little oasis tucked into a bustling neighborhood. There are cute paintings, benches, complimentary umbrellas should you need one, a free bowl of hard candy - they thought of just about everything. And even though we were there early, our room was quickly prepared and ready for us.
Guest rooms at Hotel Santa Maria Roma
Our room somehow managed to be both big and cozy. The floor was tile, the bed was a good size, and the decorations a bit old-timey in a way Eriko would call “cute” and I would call “dated.” There was a daybed, a huge closet, and a kettle for making tea or instant coffee. This isn’t the fanciest room in the world, but it was nicely quaint. It reminded me a bit of the little independent hotels that dot America when driving from Nebraska to California, if that’s a thing you are apt to do.
One downside was that the windows made us definitely visible and audible during the day to people walking by. We also found ourselves interrupted by the two-person housekeeping staff, who informed us they absolutely could NOT come back in an hour, causing an uncomfortable standoff. What I’m saying is that even though this hotel room is nice, it’s not the best spot for a passionate romantic getaway unless you don’t mind having a whole lot of people know what you’re doing. But there’s a lot of closet and suitcase space, so you give a little, you get a little.
The bathroom has a toilet and bidet, a nice-sized sink, and a shower that took me on a bit of an adventure. Like many hotels in Europe, it had both a clawfoot and an overhead shower. Usually, I stand outside the shower and first test the knobs to make sure I have it on the clawfoot setting. I then get in, turn it on, and get the water to a decent temperature with the noozle pointed away from me before turning it upon myself. It didn’t go that way this time.
I turned on the clawfoot, and WHOOOOOOOOOSH AN IMPOSSIBLE LEVEL OF WATER PRESSURE SPEWED OUT! The water was so strong it whipped around like a hose in a cartoon. Eventually, it fell on its side, spraying right at me. I pushed my hand against the water like a battle of two superheroes going patchoo against one another, reaching the clawfoot and aiming it at the floor. Then I took my shower.
I told Eriko the story of my trial and eventual triumph, which also explained why there was water everywhere. She laughed.
“I like that you battled the shower when you could have just turned the water off,” she said.
Oh. Yeah. I guess I could have.
Breakfast buffet at Hotel Santa Maria
The breakfast buffet is impossible to miss, hosted in the hotel’s bar, which in addition to breakfast also offers coffee for FREE the rest of the day. We were immediately greeted by one of the friendliest men on Earth, who said hello in Japanese and offered to make us lattes, which he topped with some awesome latte art. Made waking up much easier.
The breakfast buffet is pretty standard for Europe: lackluster scrambled eggs, sausage, and bacon, some fruit, cold cuts, and granola for Gregg. But there were also a couple kinds of cake that I couldn’t help trying and can confirm were not bad.
The most we ever saw of the other guests was at breakfast. There was what appeared to be a large tour group, a bunch of solo travelers from various countries who were clearly going places together but seemed like they didn’t know each other based on the basic questions they were asking one another at full volume. I was glad when they left because I had other things to do.
Japan has an infestation that has taken over the country since I’ve been here. It’s a smooth jazz CD. Some expert salesman has convinced every business in Japan (our wedding venue, the place we used to get our hair cut, my psychiatrist’s office) that what people want to hear in a place of business is a short CD of smooth jazz covers of popular songs. It’s maddening. The same boring covers over and over, for the past seven years. I thought this was only a Japanese thing. I was wrong.
Yes, THE SAME CD was playing in this breakfast room. I couldn’t believe it. And when that was done, they played another collection of covers that led to a fascinating game of “wait what song is this.” I listened to jaunty instrumental versions of songs, and tried to figure out what songs they were, losing my freaking mind when I couldn’t figure them out. It made breakfast exciting.
The little things that make this hotel a great place to stay
Based on how it looks, Hotel Santa Maria would be a solid middle-of-the-road hotel. Like I said, it reminded me of the independent hotels you find throughout Arizona and New Mexico - nothing fancy like a top-tier Hilton, ground floor rooms with basic fixtures, an okay breakfast buffet, and a good location. If they stopped there, we would have been satisfied, because to be quite honest, many hotels in Europe can’t manage that, and we’ve had some unpleasant surprises before.
But they don’t stop there. Hotel Santa Maria offers so many little things that take this from being a good hotel to a one-of-a-kind hotel, starting with the bar. Yes, there is a complimentary breakfast and free snacks during happy hour, but you can also get coffee from the bar whenever you want, FOR FREE. And you can take your latte out into the garden, where there are two courtyards that have tables and benches where you can kick back with a coffee or gelato, read a super-serious Noam Chomsky book on your Kindle, and enjoy the afternoon.
You may think, “oh, I don’t need that because I’ll be out all the time.” Well, we found ourselves taking advantage of it to escape the hot Roman sun with a nice gelato, and so did everyone else at the hotel. With its homey, casual atmosphere, Hotel Santa Maria makes guests want to chill in the courtyard during the afternoon rather than go out for a spritz at a restaurant.
Know what else the courtyards have? Kitties! We found a cute cat just outside our room that talked to us in fluent English and let us pet him. None of the other hotels we stayed at this trip had cute kitties. Again, you are not charged extra for the cat; he is gratis.
The staff is friendly and helpful, offering to organize airport rides and restaurants and whatever else you’re hoping to do. They’re there 24/7 so you can always ask a question or report a problem (not that there were any, because there weren’t) or just chit-chat.
Our flight home wasn’t until evening, so on our final day, we checked out and stored our bags, which is done outside the main office - there’s always someone there, so you don’t have to worry about not being able to access your bags when you want to. We went out to lunch and a Picasso exhibit, then came back to chill in the courtyard. It started raining, so we retreated inside - to a lounge room full of books, a chess set, and couches where we could nap before the flight. No one bothered us about sleeping in the lounge. It was like staying at a friend’s house if your friend ran a great hotel.
While we were in the lounge, a family came in and played chess; they ALSO were enjoying this hotel so much that they spent the afternoon just hanging out. Usually, if you have a hotel where the guests don’t leave, it’s because it’s a resort like the Conrad Koh Samui. In this case, it’s just that everyone was so nice and the place so comfortable that it was the absolute perfect spot to chill between touristy excursions.
The car they arranged picked us up right outside the gate, rather than forcing us to walk like the one that dropped us off. It was a bit more expensive than a normal cab to the airport, but we had the security of knowing it would be there on time. The driver was an old man who expertly navigated through the thin Trastevere streets until he wound up in a spot where there was only room for one car and there was another car coming the other direction. The two cars stopped and stared each other down. In the most Italian move possible, our driver gesticulated wildly with both arms, over and over, for about two minutes. It’s possible the other driver was also gesticulating. Eventually, our driver won, and we were allowed to pass and get to our flight.
All of this stuff - the lattes and reservations and recommendations and front desk service and umbrellas and courtyard and lounge room and all that - is not necessary. They don’t have to do ANY of it, but they do. Compare this to most European hotels, and Hotel Santa Maria deserves more than its three stars. I hereby give it ten million stars.
Verdict: should you stay at Hotel Santa Maria in Trastevere?
I haven’t even told you the best part.
First, let me explain Trastevere. This neighborhood was perfect for us. We’d already seen a lot of the touristy stuff in the Centro Storico, and we don’t go out partying at night. We like food and shopping, and Trastevere has tons of those things. We went to fun vintage stores, got the coolest designer jackets ever from Sara e Luka at Merkat Alcazar, & visited Porta Portese Market, the biggest flea market I have ever seen it was so long too many deals sun hot we couldn’t make it to the end. There are trendy restaurants and sandwich shops, and it’s a quick walk to the river, which you can cross to visit the Jewish Quarter and the Trevi Fountain and all that. Trastevere is full of people and activity, a lively, carb-filled spot for those who like vintage clothes and pasta and meat. It’s a busy area, is what I’m saying.
And yet, when you’re within the walls of Hotel Santa Maria, you can’t hear ANY of it. Despite its open-air layout, the hotel is SO QUIET. Night or day, no matter what was going on, when we were at the hotel, we heard nothing. No noise whatsoever. A beautiful, quiet oasis. There’s no pretentious luxury here, no fancy room service or rooftop pools, just an ideal vacation stay. I can’t recommend it enough.
The one concern we had when booking this hotel was that the first night is non-refundable. If our plans changed, we’d be out the 288 Euro deposit we paid. We decided to roll the dice and hope nothing changed, and it didn’t, so thankfully we didn’t lose any money unnecessarily. If your travel plans are not set in stone, that may be a problem for you.
Including tourist tax, we paid 900 Euro ($1,027) for three nights, or 300 Euro ($342) per night. For that time of year, in that location, this seemed like a decent rate. There were a lot of hotels that didn’t look as good that were way more expensive. And once we got there, we realized this price was a bargain. We’ve had worse stays at way more expensive hotels. We loved it at Hotel Santa Maria, a quiet, comfortable experience with fantastic staff, and if we ever end up back in Rome, we will 100% stay here again, not even a question.
This is the type of small, independent establishment that in a few years might get bulldozed for a giant Holiday Inn Express or something. Appreciate it while it’s there. It gets our seal of approval.
Where to find Hotel Santa Maria Roma
Phone: +39 06 589 4626
Website: hotelsantamariatrastevere.it
A final word on Trastevere: besides the well-known restaurants (which were okay but we didn’t try any that ranked among the best of our trip), the stone streets and courtyards, and the great thrift shopping, Trastevere stood out because of how nice people were to us. We had some bad experiences with racism and just plain rudeness elsewhere in Italy, but in Trastevere, we were treated with respect and kindness. We had to deal with some racist cat calls aimed at Eriko elsewhere in Rome, and clearly Italy is still sorting itself out, but I would now put Trastevere as the #1 part of Rome that I’d recommend to anyone. Even if you decide to stay in a different part of town, come to Trastevere for some shopping, food, and friendliness. Thanks to the people at Hotel Santa Maria and the entire neighborhood for giving us a positive end to our vacation.
